Communication skills and the golden rule

Why doesn't the golden rule work?

As you work with and enjoy looking at your Vision Board and take inspired action towards your goals and dreams

you will be meeting people and affecting something in their lives.

You may help change the course of their life just by a word or a smile.There’s an old saying

“do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

It’s called the golden rule …BUT, have you noticed it doesn’t work?

WHY NOT?

It is because often people want different things.

learned from Tony Alessandra.This is his platinum rule,

DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DONE UNTO THEM...

This means that if you like coffee and your friend likes teaYOU give them tea - Don’t insist that they taste YOUR delicious coffee. Yet so many people try to influence and force others to their way instead of meeting the needs of others.

When you understand the 4 personality styles and learn the way each style prefers to you will begin to communicate in a powerful and profound way. It is a great way to win friends and influence people.

When it comes to the basic human needs of love, acceptance,

kindness and appreciation - absolutely give the respect and acknowledgement

to others that you would like to receive. These are basic human needs, to be loved and appreciated, recognized and accepted for being who they are are general across all personality styles.

When it comes to communication styles and language-ing then it really supports the relationship if you could "work with the other persons language." Imagine traveling to a foreign country, how much better would you enjoy the experience and gain support if you could speak their language?

“The person with the greatest behavioral flexibility WINS!”- Barbara Pellegrino

Understanding the different communication styles and which behavioral style is more out going and direct verses shy and indirect and which styles are 'task oriented' versus 'people oriented' will give you the flexibility to develop greater rapport with many more people.

DISC is the acronym for the 4 major communication styles:

Driver - Dominant: Fast thinking, Fast acting. Bottom line. Direct. Task oriented. Leaders or loners.

Influencer - Socializer: Fun loving. People oriented. Star qualities. Leaders.

Sensitive - Relator: Cares for others. Wants to make everyone happy. Supportive.Team Players.

Constant - Analytical: Task oriented. Needs information -reseach facts & figures before making decisions. Tendency towards being a loner.

Discover how to recognize which style best describes you and how communicate with your opposite...

Wouldn't you love to know what each style is like at their best and … when they are not at their best?

What conversational minefields to avoid?

What conversations and topics will gave you enthusiastic co-operation?

Get your own DISC personality profile and analyses with report click below

1. Click on the link below:

http://www.personality-insights.com/shop?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=3109-ASDS&AFFIL=dswa

2. Select the quantity of reports you need and click the "Add to Cart" button

3. Proceed to Checkout (link will be located in a yellow box near the top left part of the screen)

4. You will be asked to create a user name and password to receive the profile.

Here is the link for the DISC book:

http://www.cms.dswa.org/node/259/58

To receive a 30 minute personal discovery session and explanation

about your style including how to communicate with others,

live with Barbara Pellegrino click here:

http://www.kickstartcart.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=01D96A23-ABEF-4278-BCCA-B366C417ACE1&pid=3b06b8f0b95543d6b8570346be684948

AND FOR ONLY the first 5 people - receive a ** Special Bonus** a Fr**ee additional 30 minutes. ** a complete 60 minutes discovery session for only $49.97- This is a one time offer and expires July 31, 2011

Celebrating YOUR Success!

Love,

Barbara Pellegrino

Vision Board Success Trainer

Transformational Life Coach, CPC, CEC

Master Practitioner Energy Leadership

NLP Trainer, Speaker, Author.

http://visionboards.net

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How to make a great first impression

How do you make a good first impression, and then, how do you make a really good first impression?

Does it start with Hello ?

Logically you would say yes of course; as Hello, Hi, Hola, Ola, Bon Jour, Buenas Dias and a multitude of other greetings are generally the first sound and words that we express towards one another.

In reality, making a first impression happens long before the first word is uttered.

There has been a long cited study about the effectiveness of communication:

7% Words

38% Tonality

55% Body language (below the conscious level of awareness)

If this study is accurate then, there is a whopping 55% - 93% that a someone will “pick up” about you at an intuitive, emotional or energy level, before you even have a chance to speak to them. Remember when you may have smiled at a perfect stranger just because…?

How does body language and your energetic presence and emotional intelligence give people the opportunity to intuitively know about you and pre decide whether they like you or even if they want to say hello… without knowing you?

"The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them." Saint-Exupery, The Wisdom of the Sands

In making a good first impression, it is amazing and astonishing how much we can perceive about each other by our physical presentation, our posture, the way we dress and the expression we have on our faces. You may say “I just had this feeling…”

How can you tell if someone has had a bad day? What are the tell tale signs?

Shoulders slumped, head hanging low, a sad or angry look on their faces. There are people who, when they enter a room, it seems as if they bring in a “black cloud” of gloom. They may seem preoccupied, not paying attention, or busy on a call or just “lost in their own thoughts.”

Whereas someone who is happy, charismatic or enthusiastic gives off very different signs and you will get a very different first impression.

What are the signs of this type of person?

Welcoming? Happy? Engaging? A bounce in their step, bright smile, even if they are on the phone they are pleasant towards others with out talking directly to them.

Do you know someone who has the ability to cheer up a whole room when they enter ?

Just by the energy that emanates from them a type of radiance or maybe a fresh or healthy glow.

What fist impression do you wish project to impact your family, friends, customers and team members every time you enter the room and before you say hello?

What type of energy, enthusiasm and emotional intelligence are you looking for in the team you build around you?

You may have heard this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson - “Who you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”

You may have heard that when emotions are high, then intelligence is low and the inverse is true, when the intelligence is high the emotions are low.

How do you achieve a happy balance of intellectual and emotional intelligence so that you can be passionate and intelligent. Enthusiastic and coherent, responsive and not reactive?

Imaging creating a great first impression of being engaging and charismatic even before you say hello!

To become aware and conscious of the impressions and effects people make upon each other it is helpful to understand the 7 levels of energy (emotional intelligence), how it impacts your world and interacts with attitude and perceptions.

To learn more about the Energy Leadership Development System™ and how it affects you and others please email barbara@visionboards.net or visit http://www.visionarylifecoach.org