Communication skills and the golden rule

Why doesn't the golden rule work?

As you work with and enjoy looking at your Vision Board and take inspired action towards your goals and dreams

you will be meeting people and affecting something in their lives.

You may help change the course of their life just by a word or a smile.There’s an old saying

“do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

It’s called the golden rule …BUT, have you noticed it doesn’t work?

WHY NOT?

It is because often people want different things.

learned from Tony Alessandra.This is his platinum rule,

DO UNTO OTHERS AS THEY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DONE UNTO THEM...

This means that if you like coffee and your friend likes teaYOU give them tea - Don’t insist that they taste YOUR delicious coffee. Yet so many people try to influence and force others to their way instead of meeting the needs of others.

When you understand the 4 personality styles and learn the way each style prefers to you will begin to communicate in a powerful and profound way. It is a great way to win friends and influence people.

When it comes to the basic human needs of love, acceptance,

kindness and appreciation - absolutely give the respect and acknowledgement

to others that you would like to receive. These are basic human needs, to be loved and appreciated, recognized and accepted for being who they are are general across all personality styles.

When it comes to communication styles and language-ing then it really supports the relationship if you could "work with the other persons language." Imagine traveling to a foreign country, how much better would you enjoy the experience and gain support if you could speak their language?

“The person with the greatest behavioral flexibility WINS!”- Barbara Pellegrino

Understanding the different communication styles and which behavioral style is more out going and direct verses shy and indirect and which styles are 'task oriented' versus 'people oriented' will give you the flexibility to develop greater rapport with many more people.

DISC is the acronym for the 4 major communication styles:

Driver - Dominant: Fast thinking, Fast acting. Bottom line. Direct. Task oriented. Leaders or loners.

Influencer - Socializer: Fun loving. People oriented. Star qualities. Leaders.

Sensitive - Relator: Cares for others. Wants to make everyone happy. Supportive.Team Players.

Constant - Analytical: Task oriented. Needs information -reseach facts & figures before making decisions. Tendency towards being a loner.

Discover how to recognize which style best describes you and how communicate with your opposite...

Wouldn't you love to know what each style is like at their best and … when they are not at their best?

What conversational minefields to avoid?

What conversations and topics will gave you enthusiastic co-operation?

Get your own DISC personality profile and analyses with report click below

1. Click on the link below:

http://www.personality-insights.com/shop?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=3109-ASDS&AFFIL=dswa

2. Select the quantity of reports you need and click the "Add to Cart" button

3. Proceed to Checkout (link will be located in a yellow box near the top left part of the screen)

4. You will be asked to create a user name and password to receive the profile.

Here is the link for the DISC book:

http://www.cms.dswa.org/node/259/58

To receive a 30 minute personal discovery session and explanation

about your style including how to communicate with others,

live with Barbara Pellegrino click here:

http://www.kickstartcart.com/SecureCart/SecureCart.aspx?mid=01D96A23-ABEF-4278-BCCA-B366C417ACE1&pid=3b06b8f0b95543d6b8570346be684948

AND FOR ONLY the first 5 people - receive a ** Special Bonus** a Fr**ee additional 30 minutes. ** a complete 60 minutes discovery session for only $49.97- This is a one time offer and expires July 31, 2011

Celebrating YOUR Success!

Love,

Barbara Pellegrino

Vision Board Success Trainer

Transformational Life Coach, CPC, CEC

Master Practitioner Energy Leadership

NLP Trainer, Speaker, Author.

http://visionboards.net

Follow me on Twitter at:

http://twitter.com/barbarapel

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How to make a great first impression

How do you make a good first impression, and then, how do you make a really good first impression?

Does it start with Hello ?

Logically you would say yes of course; as Hello, Hi, Hola, Ola, Bon Jour, Buenas Dias and a multitude of other greetings are generally the first sound and words that we express towards one another.

In reality, making a first impression happens long before the first word is uttered.

There has been a long cited study about the effectiveness of communication:

7% Words

38% Tonality

55% Body language (below the conscious level of awareness)

If this study is accurate then, there is a whopping 55% - 93% that a someone will “pick up” about you at an intuitive, emotional or energy level, before you even have a chance to speak to them. Remember when you may have smiled at a perfect stranger just because…?

How does body language and your energetic presence and emotional intelligence give people the opportunity to intuitively know about you and pre decide whether they like you or even if they want to say hello… without knowing you?

"The meaning of things lies not in the things themselves but in our attitude towards them." Saint-Exupery, The Wisdom of the Sands

In making a good first impression, it is amazing and astonishing how much we can perceive about each other by our physical presentation, our posture, the way we dress and the expression we have on our faces. You may say “I just had this feeling…”

How can you tell if someone has had a bad day? What are the tell tale signs?

Shoulders slumped, head hanging low, a sad or angry look on their faces. There are people who, when they enter a room, it seems as if they bring in a “black cloud” of gloom. They may seem preoccupied, not paying attention, or busy on a call or just “lost in their own thoughts.”

Whereas someone who is happy, charismatic or enthusiastic gives off very different signs and you will get a very different first impression.

What are the signs of this type of person?

Welcoming? Happy? Engaging? A bounce in their step, bright smile, even if they are on the phone they are pleasant towards others with out talking directly to them.

Do you know someone who has the ability to cheer up a whole room when they enter ?

Just by the energy that emanates from them a type of radiance or maybe a fresh or healthy glow.

What fist impression do you wish project to impact your family, friends, customers and team members every time you enter the room and before you say hello?

What type of energy, enthusiasm and emotional intelligence are you looking for in the team you build around you?

You may have heard this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson - “Who you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.”

You may have heard that when emotions are high, then intelligence is low and the inverse is true, when the intelligence is high the emotions are low.

How do you achieve a happy balance of intellectual and emotional intelligence so that you can be passionate and intelligent. Enthusiastic and coherent, responsive and not reactive?

Imaging creating a great first impression of being engaging and charismatic even before you say hello!

To become aware and conscious of the impressions and effects people make upon each other it is helpful to understand the 7 levels of energy (emotional intelligence), how it impacts your world and interacts with attitude and perceptions.

To learn more about the Energy Leadership Development System™ and how it affects you and others please email barbara@visionboards.net or visit http://www.visionarylifecoach.org

What is sabotaging your success?

Welcome to June 2011!

We are almost half way throughout he year and for some

you are happily achieving your visions, on track, gaining momentum

and enjoying your success as it evolves.

But for others there is still this “stuck-ness” and frustration around trying

to get started, or you have started but lost the momentum and drive to keep going.

Is your vision board still inspiring, exciting and compelling for you?

Or is it now another source of frustration and disappointment?

Recently I was privileged to hear “the original” Rich Dad, Keith Cunningham

say something extremely profound!

"The quality of Your life is a direct reflection of what is not negotiable."

You will find that most people will compromise on may areas of their lives except their values!

Most personal arguments or business disagreements occur because a core value has been ‘violated.’ But which value was violated?

If you are struggling to fulfill your Visions, dreams and goals…

Ask yourself which value(s) is not being fulfilled by wanting this this goal…

And therefore preventing me from achieving it?

When you sit and question yourself and your actions, you will find that

your frustration comes from either living according to your true values

but not achieving a goal because it actually isn’t totally aligned

with your highest vales, or that you are going for a dream

and goal and feeling empty at the end of the day because

you had to put your real values on HOLD.

When you have a disagreement or misunderstanding at home or work,

it may feel like you are walking on an invisible mine field;

Ask yourself this question…

“which value of mine (or theirs) is being dishonored, ignored or downright violated?

If you aren’t clear on what your true values are, or you aren’t aware of what

the other persons values are, we don’t even know that we may

have violated theirs or ours!

People who are not living according to their highest values may feel :

• The pain of waking up one day and find that you climbed the ladder of success and got to the top of a mountain that you don’t like because the ladder was against the wrong wall.
• You are fulfilling someone else's goals and dreams.

• That empty hollow feeling that no matter what you do and how much you have - Its never enough.
• Exhausted, tired, guilty wondering why it’s so tough just getting by....

Dr. John Demartini says that having a fulfilled life is when you live according to your highest values.

“Nothing of the senses will ever satisfy the soul and values emerge from perceived voids.”

Which of these core values do you relate to most?

Health, wealth, freedom, love, safety, security,

service, power, family, community, honesty,

integrity, joy, happiness, success, abundance,

acceptance, courage, intelligence, reliability,

responsibility, wisdom, vision, vitality, self care

and the list can go on and on…

How many of these values are satisfied by the work you are doing?

Studies have shown that unless you live your life according to your core values and the work you do supports these values there will not be enough success to bring you joy.

Dr. John Demartini says that we have values shifts approximately every 10 years. As our life changes so do our priorities and what’s most important to us tends to shift.

When you can link your daily activities, your business mission and your personal mission to your highest values, you will find that you will:

• sleep well at night and wake up refreshed, full of passion and ready to “seize the day.”
• find that you have more core energy - energy from within you, not external stimulants, and an excitement that will achieve rocket booster success
• your days will feel more harmonious, you will have greater satisfaction and a peaceful warm feeling inside.

What do you do that’s not negotiable?

Behavior always speaks louder than theory.

“Clarity leads to power” spend the time observing your own daily actions [or talk to me as your Visionary Life Coach and Core Energy Master Practitioner, as I am trained to laser focus on these areas] …about what is not or should be “not negotiable” in your life and how that is sabotaging or supporting your dreams and goals.

If there is conflict there is a way to get them aligned so that you can achieve the success you desire and live according to your highest vales!

Barbara Pellegrino is a renowned and leading Visionary Life coach for Women Entrepreneurs and CEO’s. A Vision Board Success Trainer and authority on success and achievement.

She is certified as an NLP (neuro linguistic programming) facilitator

Accelerated learning trainer, a visionary life and career coach,

a Master Practitioner in the Energy Leadership Development System™

and a twice published author.

Visit Barbara at www.visionboards.net and receive your essential tips on

How to Live a Visionary Life, Vision Boards and Achieving Your Dreams.

How to Use a Vision Board to See Your Success

"All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision."- Brian Tracy

Successful people have a clear vision that pulls them forward into the future they desire.

Vision, passion and action is your secret to success. When you can see your goals clearly, you become inspired, enthusiastic and passionate about achieving your dream. When the path to your achievement is visible, action steps become obvious and there is less struggle and greater ease involved in success.

The best way to get real clarity around your dream is to create a visual representation of your written goals. Whether your vision board consists of drawings, photographs or images taken from magazines or downloaded from the internet, the visual aspect of your goal is crucial to your success.

There is a maxim that says “ a picture is worth a thousand words” but apart from saving you from writers cramp by trying to write every detail of your goals and dreams, there is another reason why it is crucial to give your written goals and dreams a visual component. It has to do with your own brain.

40% of the most advanced part of the brain is devoted to visual processing,

which means the spoken and written word are converted into images.

Our minds see the words we hear and write, as if it is running a movie in our minds.

But there is a problem that many people are completely unaware of... and that is the mind has a tendency

to default to a memory and a picture that may not accurately portray the goal.

The mind will very possibly see your written goal, whether it be of a certain income, building a team, enjoying a certain lifestyle … yet instantly and automatically remember a past failure and all the reasons why you may not be able to achieve that goal. It may conjure up pictures of a friend, family member or teacher from the past who may have given you negative feedback which has chipped away at your self confidence so that you may start to feel fear or doubt yourself when embarking on the action plan to your dream.

These thoughts and images flash instantly onto the screen of the mind and sabotage the goal. Unless you are aware of this and have an accurate visual end result goal to focus on, excite you and to help you believe in YOU, you may never understand why you struggle and endure hardship while trying so hard to succeed.

The visual goal board will help you grow

into the person who naturally has what is on the board by helping to reprogram

your subconscious mind as well as giving you a whole brain planning process.

As you see and enjoy your vision daily, and if you choose to use some creative

visualization techniques, the brain will create new neural pathways and start to

get hardwired for the success that you envision. As the new neural networks

develop according to the vision, ideas and flashes of inspiration will seemingly

pop into your mind, giving you new and quicker ways to succeed.

Einstein asked “why do I get my best ideas in the shower?

We all have these “light bulb” moments of clarity, focus and inspiration. The idea with a vision board is to invite them to come more often. Your intuition will be awakened and you may find that you are becoming “luckier” as co- incidences and opportunities start to present themselves. This phenomenon is a well known psychological principle, that “what you focus on expands” into your awareness and consciousness and this can lead you to being in the right place at the right time, meeting the right people and saying the right things to achieve your dreams in less time and with less effort. Hence your road to success starts to evolve from your own newly programmed “auto pilot.”

The main components on creating a vision board, are to design and arrange the images that represent the end result not the journey towards your dreams but the end result of them on your board in a way that excites and motivates you when you look at it because you want a resounding “yes” to surge through your body every time you see the board.

To learn more about creating a vision board and achieving success

please visit www.visionboards.net and you will receive a free report

and youtube link to: 7 Easy Steps to Creating YOUR Powerful Vision Board.

Barbara Pellegrino is a Visionary Life Coach,

Empowering entrepreneurs… to Have it all!

Helping you to Clarify your vision and make it real.

2011 Barbara Pellegrino - All Rights Reserved.

Barbara Pellegrino is a Visionary Life Coach, Empowering Entrepreneurs… to Have it all!

Helping you to Clarify your vision and make it real. From the reefs of Australia to the rainbows of Hawaii Barbara is a renowned speaker, trainer, author and coach. She presents her vision board workshops, , in Hawaii. Mainland USA and Internationally. She is renowned for teaching people HOW to make their dreams come true using,

What would you say…?

What would you say to someone you consider a "celebrity"

if you met them somewhere co-incidentally?

Especially if they were on your Vision Board?

Would you say “Hello”, smile and move on?

Ask for an autograph?

A picture together to put on facebook?

Would you compliment them and tell them how

they have impacted your life?

Would you ask them to review your work?

What would you wish for?

Today I met Bob Proctor at LAX (Los Angeles Airport) whilst walking down a hallway at the Marriott Hotel OMG! How amazing… (I consider Bob Proctor the “father of the personal development movement” for our time… I think Napolean Hill with his book “Think and Grow Rich”

to be the pioneer of this movement.

This was totalIy unexpected, and I was not ready but I still

grabbed the opportunity to introduced myself and said

how much I enjoy his teachings, then I asked him why

he was at LAX, he answered me, we shook hands, smiled

and exchanged “nice to meet you’s” I thanked him for

stopping to say hello… and we moved on.

Then the mind started, with the “Why didn’t I…?”

ask for a picture together

tell him which of his products I have enjoyed...

let him know who I am.. etc..

What should I have said?

What could I have said in that one moment of time?

What did I learn from this brief encounter?

I remember a training I attended last October, where the presenter said:

“If you were to meet Oprah… what would you say?”

(especially if you wanted her to support your cause)

How do you approach these busy people, potential mentors

to make a positive impression and have them be open to

connecting with you and possibly endorsing

your business or cause?

How does the law of attraction factor in to potentially

bringing you the exact circumstance you wish for?

What I learnt at the October seminar…

(but didn’t think about till today)

is to create and rehearse a formula for success.

And like all Mind Power, law of attraction techniques,

the more you practice it and resonate at that frequency

the faster it is likely to occur.

Formula for “Celebrity” communication - keep it brief.

1. Know what you want and why you want to connect with this “Celebrity”

1. Compliment the person on a specific part of their work

or a specific episode you enjoyed.

3. Briefly and concisely mention how it positively impacted you.

4. How it specifically supports/ blends with the work you do.

1. Ask if it would be possible to meet with, or speak to them for a specific amount of time - 5, 10 or 15 minutes - to briefly present to them, an overview of what you do and if they could offer any advice/suggestions.

Whatever happens after that is unknown … hopefully

the celebrity will agree … and whichever way it goes,

it will be an opportunity for you to learn and grow.

Practicing this particular formula has a two fold purpose:

1. You will be prepared and ready for the time you do meet your “celebrity.” There is a saying “luck is where opportunity meets preparation.”
2. As you practice and rehearse your “script” you are putting your intention out into the Universe, you are focusing on what you want

and spending a few minutes regularly being in the”energy” of it.

This is considered an active rather than passive visualization.

Have fun, enjoy your visions and may you be blessed with wonderful opportunities that you will be ready for…

p.s. Visit our blog for previous posts:

visionboardshawaii

Committed to your success!

Barbara Pellegrino

Vision Board Success Trainer

Transformational Life Coach, CPC, CEC

Master Practitioner Energy Leadership

NLP Trainer, Speaker, Author.

http://visionboards.net

If the Law of attraction doesn’t deliver on time…?

If the Law of attraction doesn’t deliver on time…?

What do you do when the Law of Attraction sucks.

When the dreams and goals you have been working on remain elusive.

Do you find that:

• You have been struggling and disappointed when things don’t turn out as expected?
• Your dreams take longer to manifest than you thought?
• Your Vision Board doesn’t inspire you as it once did?
• Others tell you it cant be done and you are starting to believe them?

What is the best course of action that you can take in these situations?

Go on a Rampage!… (of appreciation)

This may seem counter intuitive and illogical… but we are talking about the LAW of ATTRACTION. One of the many definitions of the law of attraction is; “The Universe will bring you situations circumstances and events

according to your PREDOMINANT thoughts and feelings.”

It doesn’t say according to your …wishes, hopes and faint desires.

It doesn’t say according to your …hard work, worry and fears.

It doesn’t say according to your… frustrations, disappointments and complaints.

Although frustration, disappointments, anger, worry and complaining are all normal logical reactions to when goals and dreams “don’t show up” on time. Allowing these emotional reactions to linger after the initial “hit” actually slows down any further progress.

The best way to continue manifesting your dreams and goals after the initial expression of your negative emotions...

(emotions are normal and MUST be expressed. It’s the “broken record” that hinders attraction. They say a problem shared is a problem halved - but if its shared over and over and over, again with all your friends, family and support teams, it will expand and grow.)

… is to let go and allow another universal law the “law of least resistance” to support you in manifesting your desires, by accepting “What is…” as part of your journey and growth then the road blocks become stepping stones … growth and learning opportunities on the journey to your success.

Being appreciative of anything you can… will enhance your “I have” vibration.

Joe Vitale calls this the formula for miracles appearing in your life.

I first learned about Appreciation vs Gratitude from the book - “Ask and it is Given” by Ether Hicks.

RAMPAGE of APPRECIATION - a quick and easy ENERGY TIP to help you raise your energy to a higher level,

to get back in flow and on track to achieving your goals.

Having faith that what you want is its way to you, - and allowing TIME for attraction is crucial in the manifesting process.

To let go of worry, doubts and fears for a moment or two will release the tension around your goals and the negative

thoughts about what is going wrong.

True wisdom is applying and demonstrating knowledge. Going on a RAMPAGE of APPRECIATION

- definition: to recognize the full worth of - means doing something, not just thinking about it

stop

breath

and look around …

at what is in your life at this very moment and being grateful for…or appreciating it.

A quick distinction between Gratitude and Appreciation:

To be appreciative is "to recognize the full worth of " by noticing what is good about something or someone with out necessarily being emotionally connected to it/them.

Gratitude can often come with an emotion and feeling of relief, because you are grateful for something showing up that you didn’t have. Which is fine if you are focused in the present and grateful …but be aware that you are not contrasting your feelings of gratitude with the memory of what it was like before the item, person event showed up for you. You don’t want to amplify what was missing, now that it is here for you.

To appreciate the chair you are sitting on… means someone thought about it designed it and now you are using it. The computer you are using to read this Energy Tip, again someone designed it and someone stocked it in a store or online and made it available to you. Where you live, the car you drive, the people who support you, the people who serve you.

What else can you appreciate in this minute?

Write it down now…

Appreciate everything you can. This is a fast way to lift your energy, from the lower feeling place to the higher feeling place, or from the lower levels of consciousness and awareness to the higher more “winning” level of consciousness.

"We cannot be happy if we expect to live all the time at the

highest peak of intensity. Happiness is not a matter of intensity,

but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony." - Thomas Merton

I appreciate you and am grateful that you read these tips and practice these concepts to help you achieve your dreams!

Love,

Barbara

p.s. Click here to Check out the NEW Vision Board Creation e-Kit.

All you need to create and manifest your dreams!

Plus special bonuses…

Transforming Lives - One Vision at a Time!

Barbara Pellegrino

Vision Board Success Trainer

Transformational Life Coach, CPC, CEC

Master Practitioner Energy Leadership

NLP Trainer, Speaker, Author.

http://visionboards.net

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